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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28136649">Get a Fork (give a fuck)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCarrot/pseuds/TheCarrot'>TheCarrot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, I'm sorry to the vegans, Krampus Kinkathon, M/M, Sort Of, Spitroasting, mentions sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:08:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>622</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28136649</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCarrot/pseuds/TheCarrot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This isn't what Poe had in mind when Finn asked if he wanted to go to Rey's for a spit-roast.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Finn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Krampus Kink-a-thon</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Get a Fork (give a fuck)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*hangs head in shame*</p>
<p>I couldn't help myself...</p>
<p>but I think there's smut coming shortly as an apology.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know when you asked me to join you for a spit-roast…” Poe frowns down at the sight before him. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” He glares at the large mass of ground up… something or other before him. Whatever kind of vegan, not meat, soy based concoction that Rey had put onto a metal stick and placed in the barbecue and asked him to watch over. “I was infinitely more excited before I was proven wrong.”</p>
<p>Finn stares in confusion at his boyfriend from his spot by the cracked open door that leads into Rey’s apartment. He can hear the party going inside, all of Rey’s work friends a little too loud and rambunctious for him. So he’s standing outside with Poe, trying to keep warm in the chill of the winter night and cursing the beer bottle in his hand that’s making his fingers numb.</p>
<p>“Do I want to even know what you were imagining?” Finn asks hesitantly. </p>
<p>Poe just gives him a pleading look. “Come on Finn, don’t do me like that.”</p>
<p>Dark eyes blink slowly, the sparkling Christmas lights Rey has strung up around the sliding door reflecting the disappointed look on Poe’s face. Until finally Poe’s meaning clicks in and the face Finn pulls in reply, makes Poe glance away in an attempt to smother his laughter. </p>
<p>“For fucks sake.” Finn sighs, shaking his head in disappointment. “It’s just fake meat Poe.”</p>
<p>“I’m a thousand times serious Finn.” Poe shoots back. “I’m telling you, right now! That <b>that</b> kind of ‘spit-roast’ is a million times better than… whatever the fuck this is!” He gestures down to the off grey lump of not-meat on the grill before them. It’s not even sizzling and it’s been on high for over twenty minutes.</p>
<p>“You’re really telling me that you’d rather have a— a— fuck we need a better term for this… a <i>spit-roast</i> versus the one that we can eat!” </p>
<p>“Finn.” Poe glares at Finn, casts a quick eye around for anyone who could be listening, thanking the cold weather that has kept everyone else inside. Only Finn and Poe brave-re: stupid- enough to brave the winter weather to bbq the lump of fake meat. And only because Rey made them. “I am straight up telling you sweetheart. I’d rather have a cock in my ass and in my mouth- at the same time! Then eat… whatever this is.”</p>
<p>Poe jabs the non-browning meat alternative in the shape of a roast with the fork in his hand. </p>
<p>He’s not a hundred percent sure it doesn’t try to jab back.</p>
<p>Silence settles over the small deck for a moment.</p>
<p> “Interesting.” Finn raises an eyebrow, the mental image hitting him low in the gut. He turns on his heel and heads back towards his best friend’s apartment, plan already starting to form in his mind.</p>
<p>“Hey! Where are you going?” Poe whines. He didn’t mean to make Finn want to leave. Wonders if he’s finally managed to offend his boyfriend. “You can’t leave me alone out here with this thing! What if it comes alive and eats me?”</p>
<p>Dark eyes roll upwards and Finn throws his next sentence as casually over his shoulder as he can. “I’m going inside to see if any of Rey’s co-workers are single and lonely and willing to fuck my boyfriend with me.”</p>
<p>The fork in Poe’s hands hits the small concrete deck of the apartment. </p>
<p>“You are officially the best and I love you.” Poe whispers, clutching the fabric of his jacket to keep his hands from reaching out and hauling Finn back to him so he can kiss him senseless.</p>
<p>Finn grins back at him before disappearing into the apartment. “I know.”</p>
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